A divorce can cost you emotionally, financially, and physically. You should avoid divorce at all costs unless you are a victim of domestic violence. Try marriage counseling even if your spouse refuses to go. A marriage is seldom perfect, but imperfection alone is not a good reason for divorce. If your heart and head are not in agreement about separating from your spouse, you need to slow down, re-think and, perhaps, re-focus on making your marriage work.
If divorcing is at all a shock to you, you are likely to react by making bad, emotional decisions. A professional counselor can help guide you through these difficult times, and a divorce mediator or lawyer can explain the process to you. At this stage, knowledge is power. So, learn as much as you can.

Also attend to your spiritual needs since they are a critical part of your balance. If you attend a church, synagogue or other place of worship.
See someone who is in a position to help you. Even if they counsel against divorce, they will generally support you, and you may find you need their support as the process moves forward.
If you are in an abusive relationship, you should get help immediately. Your safety and that of your children is of greatest importance and should come first over anyone’s advice. Legal aid and domestic violence shelters will generally provide immediate assistance at no cost. But if you are sure the end has come and all hope of saving the marriage is lost, read on.